2005

Fucking hell. Feel like I’m way behind. Right, let’s get down to brass tacks, whatever the fuck that means. 2005. I turned 24. Don’t really recall what I was doing, where I was, who my girlfriend was. My name was still Chris, though. I’m like a memory machine. Hurricane Katrina was probably the biggest news that year. Tony Blair was re-elected, the London Bombings, it’ll have been the 60th anniversary of VE Day, oh and I got fucking bird flu.

Singles!

Songs happened! Lots of them probably. Although, when it comes to solo artists there was very little of anything that I can fucking remember.

Male Solo Single of the year.

Nominated:

Gold Digger by Kenny West (That’s what we call him in this house)
Goodbye My Lover by Jimmy Blunts (That’s what I’ve decided to call him just now)
Sitting, Waiting, Wishing by Jack Johnson (If I changed his name you’d have no idea who I was talking about!)

And The Winner Is…

Apparently Minnie-Q directed the video! Who the fuck knew!? Gold Digger is a classic and it always fucking will be. No matter how nuts Kenny West gets. WHATEVER HAPPENED TO MY ANTIQUE FISH TANK! If you want to know what that’s about, just ask me.

Female Solo Single of the year.

Nominated:

Hide & Seak by Imogen Heap
Be Mine by Robyn
Sorry by Madonna
Hung Up by Madonna

And The Winner Is…

Ik ben droevig! I went to school with a Ben Droevig. He was so apologetic. Sorry was Madonna’s last truly brilliant song. RIP Good Madonna Songs. x

Band/Group Single of the year.

Nominated:

Black And White Town by Doves
I Predict A Riot by Kaiser Chiefs
I Bet That You Look Good In Twickenham by Arctic Monkeys. It’s Twickenham, right? No?
First Day Of My Life by Bright Eyes
Car Chase Terror by M83
Teen Angst by M83
Beverly Hills by Weezer
Passive by A Perfect Circle
The Hand That Feeds by Nine Inch Nails
Dare by Gorillaz
Push The Button by The Sugababes! YES THE FUCKING SUGABABES. FUCK YOU!
Fix You by Coldplay
Violent Pornography by System Of A Down
B.Y.O.B. by System Of A Down
Wires by Athlete

And The Winner Is…

It’s just fucking beautiful. Coldplay have never deserved the criticism they get. They produce solid music every time.

Song of the year.

So, song of the year. Eagle eye readers would probably have found it’s lack of a nomination in the band category. It had to be this…

And The Winner Is…

The replayability, listenability and popability of this song is rivalled only by Get Lucky.

Male Solo Album of the year.

Nominated:

Late Registration by Kenny West
Whatever Jack Johnson’s album was called by Jack Johnson. I can’t remember and he’s not winning anyway.

And The Winner Is…

Kenny was so good before he got too big for his boots. Remember, he likes his anus to be finger free!

Female Solo Album of the year.

Nominated:

Music Of The Sun by Rihanna
Confessions On A Dancefloor by Madonna
Speak For Yourself by Imogen Heap

And The Winner Is…

Gonna have to give it to both Madonna and Imogen. Both albums are amazing but in entirely different ways. You’ll know the Imogen Heap song from the sample used a few years ago in a song that I’m not looking up! I’m as helpful as ever.

Band/Group Album of the year.

Nominated:

I’m Wide Awake It’s Morning by Bright Eyes
Before The Dawn Heals Us by M83
Demon Days by Gorillaz
Under The Cork Tree by Fall Out Boy
Takk… by Sigur Ros
Mezmerize by System Of A Down
Tourist by Athlete
Some Cities by Doves
Don’t Believe The HAHAHA. Yeah, I couldn’t put Oasis in without laughing

And The Winner Is…

This was really hard. Took me ages to decide this. I even listened to three of them a couple of times. I’ve included two songs above because I think everyone should listen to Car Chase Terror! It’s weird as fuck, but oh so good. I’ve been Chris, you’ve been barely paying attention, PEACE!