I just received the following email from a lady called Liz who works for a company called PFM. They manage our footfall counters at the shopping centre. We recently exchanged emails about sorting out a payment that had been missed. Clearly, she’s sent it to me by mistake.

Subject: To the men who work upstairs.

Hi all

As we have not been getting our usual standard of cleaning, it is apparent that men are using the ladies toilet. Would you please not use the ladies toilet because at the moment it looks disgusting. I have mentioned this before and I know this only happens when the ladies are not present but even so, “we are not amused”.



Obviously, it wasn’t for me, so I did what any mature adult would do and deleted it and responded.

Hey Liz,

I’ll be sure not to do that! I was planning to, as well, even though I’m a few hundred miles away. The fact I don’t work for PFM, the fact you just labelled them ‘disgusting’, and the sheer distance between them and myself were boundaries I was willing to overcome just to use those toilets.

I guess my morning scheduel is now wide open.



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