Literally nothing. Or is it.

I have nothing to say. Nothing to bring to the table. Despite that fact, I’ve taken it upon myself to update the blog. Incidentally, can you take something upon someone else? When you phrase it like that, it sounds like an obvious joke setup for shitting on someone’s chest. I’d never do something so childish. I’d do your mum though.

Whilst I’m saying nothing, let me cover a few things.

1. The Dangers of Olive Oil.

Now, like me, I’m sure you’ve had an itchy ear canal at some point. If you haven’t then there’s a small chance your head is made of Teflon. Anyway, I fight ear canal itchiness, the same way I prepare to finger a cats bumhole… Plenty of Olive Oil. Pouring some in your ear stops it instantly. Now, here comes the problem. Once you remove the afore mentioned oil, you leave your ear in a state of slickness where a headphone can get no purchase.

At least 5 times writing the above paragraph, my headphone just fell out of my ear. On the plus side, I could really easily put it up my own butthole. The cat has clearly had enough fun.

2. Otis Redding just came on my iPod.

I know what you’re thinking. The man’s been dead for ages, he’d be lucky to be standing, let alone sporting an erection he’s managed to massage to fruition. Clearly you got the wrong end of the stick, I just mean his song came on. A belter by the way, These Arms Of Mine.

He’s perfect bedtime company, you know. Also I sometimes listen to his music in bed.

3. Is the magic number.

That’s just a fact. So yeah, as I said at the beginning of this awful post, I had nothing to say, but I had fun saying it, so I don’t care

Take care, y’all.

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