I love the Internet. A lot. It’s the greatest form of entertainment I’ve ever known and today did not disappoint. Many of you will be familiar with Kitchen Nightmares, Gordon Ramsey’s American TV show where he visits restaurants in need of help and shows them how to fix them. The final episode this season found him in Scotsdale, Arizona, at the restaurant of Samy and Amy. I’ll let you watch it first if you wish. If you just want to get the idea of what happened, skip to around half way through the second video.

So. She’s nuts, and I don’t think that’s being helped by her husband never telling her she’s getting complaints. After the show broadcast, it seems she went a bit mental on Facebook as well. Obviously the lovely people of Reddit had been posting about her and the show. They weren’t kind, but to be fair, she asked for it by being a fucking fruitcake. Posts started to appear on their official Facebook page along the lines of (And yes, these are real):

TO REDDIT. I FORBID YOU FROM SPREADING YOUR HATE ON THAT SITE. THIS IS MY FACEBOOK, AND I AM NOT ALLOWING YOU TO USE MY COMPANY ON YOUR HATE FILLED PAGE.

WE ARE NOT FREAKING OUT. WE DO NOT CARE ABOUT A “WITCH HUNT” I AM NOT A WITCH. I AM GODS CHILD. PISS OFF ALL OF YOU. FUCK REDDITS, FUCK YELP AND FUCK ALL OF YOU. BRING IT, WE WILL FIGHT BACK.

There were many more but I think you get the idea. Obviously, in this situation, where you’re getting stuff said about you on Reddit and Yelp, the best thing to do is anger them. I mean, why not, it’s only sensible right? Hey, whilst you’re at it, talk about gay marriage and religion on YouTube.

After she decided to go even more nuts on the users of Reddit and Yelp, people responded by posting reviews on the restaurant on the official Yelp page. Now, I don’t know about you, but I now really want to eat there. Here are a couple of my faves. Some of them I’ve only pasted snippets as the full things were epic in length.

5.0 star rating

This is Amy here! Just stopping by from my feeding my cats their daily food from my vagina to type a little something on here.

Who do you guys think you are??? I have read all these disgusting comments on here!

People saying that we served them pubes in their food! “Story T.” saying how he came in and he paid with “sex”. “Dicky Y” saying that he can’t understand how my husband Sammy could do better than me with the millions of dollars he has, how I do ass to mouth and it tastes better than my food. “Failed Troll” saying that my husband is old enought to be my father!
I mean, come ON people! Of COURSE, all these stories are true!

Ha. This next one is good. You really can’t just say she’s mental without having a go at her face:

1 Star Rating
The owner served 36 months in prison for opening up a line of credit under someone else’s SSN. She’s a felon. Her husband steals tips from the wait staff. My diagnosis is Narcissistic personality disorder, which would also explain the terrifying plastic surgery gone wrong.

And I really liked:

1 Star Rating
I ordered the pizza. It took way too long and all they did was bring out a frozen pizza from the supermarket, still in the box, and threw it at me. Then while I was trying to open the box, Amy went to my house and stole my cat. And put my cat in the oven. Have no fear readers. The cat was undercooked and is perfectly fine.

Since all this, the official Facebook page of the restaurant now has this post at the top:

Obviously our Facebook, YELP, Twitter and Website have been hacked. We are working with the local authorities as well as the FBI computer crimes unit to ensure this does not happen again. We did not post those horrible things. Thank You Amy &Samy

I’m not convinced that people are buying it though…

This hastily written fabrication is even more inauthentic than your frozen Raviollis

Genius.

I love the Internet.