So I said in a post re.. Why am I bold? So I said in a post recently that I’d repost my wafflings about Regulate. So here’s the song and the waffle. I lifted it straight from the other post, so there may be references to other stuff. I could just read it but I can’t be arsed.

So, Regulate. A classic, I don’t think anyone can argue with that. I still listen to it quite happily when it’s on and wouldn’t skip it. I wouldn’t put it on my best album ever today though. A great opening sample from Young Guns and then into a first verse that seems to be Warren G trying to pick up some women to fuck.

It was a clear black night, a clear white moon
Warren G. is on the streets, trying to consume
Some skirts for the eve, so I can get some funk
Just rollin’ in my ride, chillin all alone.

Now, you have to ask yourself, does Warren G eat skirts? That last line would lead me to believe he was unsuccessful in his evenings quest for skirts. But then, Nate Dogg comes in with…

Just hit the Eastside of the LBC
on a mission trying to find Mr. Warren G.
Seen a car full of girls ain’t no need to tweak
all you skirts know what’s up with 213

Now… a minute ago he was all alone, but now he has enough women that Nate happily refers to them as a ‘car full’. So, I guess he got the skirts he wanted. Then, all of a sudden we’re back with Mr. G.

So I hooks a left on the 21 and Lewis
some brothas shootin dice so I said “Let’s do this”
I jumped out the ride, and said “What’s up?”
some brothas pulled some gats so I said “I’m stuck.”

So, Warren, with his apparent attention span of a toddler, has abandoned his women and/or collection of skirts to eat because he’s seen someone playing dice and he wants to join in? Why would you do that if you had a car full of women to transport. Do they just drive off in his car? Or are they hanging around just to watch Warren G play with dice? And apparently they just keep watching when they pull guns on Warren. This is the main reason I don’t get out of my car full of women to play dice with strange men in the middle of the night. Important life lessons from Warren G here. So Nate comes back with…

Since these girls peepin me I’ma glide and swerve
these hookers lookin so hard they straight hit the curb
Won’tcha think of better things than some horny tricks
I see my homey and some suckers all in his mix.

Erm… sure. I think he’s saying that when women watch him he loses the ability to drive? Either way he then spots Warren G getting.. I’m going to say jacked, I think that’s the word. I’m not sure. Let’s check.

I’m gettin jacked.

Cool. Nailed it.

I’m gettin jacked, I’m breakin myself
I can’t believe they taking Warren’s wealth
they took my rings, they took my rolex
I looked at the brotha said “Damn, what’s next?”

That verse is actually just funny. Also, I find that the best time to start referring to yourself in the third person is whilst getting mugged at gunpoint. It’s ok though, because Nate is back…

They got my homey hemmed up and they all around
ain’t none of them seeing if they going straight pound for pound
I gotta come up real quick before they start to clown
I best pull out my strap and lay them busters down

They’re sewing with him? Also, I think you might need more than a strap, Nate. They all have guns. Plus just laying them on the floor might not be the best move. I mean, they’d just get up again!

They got guns to my head
I think I’m going down
I can’t believe this happenin in my own town
If I had wings I could fly
let me contemplate
I glanced in the cut and I see my homey Nate

Oh my god, Warren, I feel your pain. Of all the places to get mugged, NOT MY OWN TOWN! Geography obviously a big part of Warrens feelings on street crime. If you had wings, you could fly? Sure. If you had the technology of Transformers and were a robot, you could transform into a cassette or something. If you were covered in bark you’d be a tree. What’s your point? Also, now isn’t the time for just standing there and contemplating. Uh oh, Nate’s back…

Sixteen in the clip and one in the hole
Nate Dogg is about to make some bodies turn cold
now they droppin and yellin
it’s a tad bit late
Nate Dogg and Warren G had to regulate

I laid all them busters down
I let my gat explode
now I’m switching my mind back into freak mode
if you want skirts sit back and observe
I just left a gang of those over there on the curb

So, Nate murders everyone, and then goes back to thinking about fucking everyone. Interesting thought process. It’s ok though, the women are still just stood there being impressed by the body count. The song continues but I’ve lost the will to live. Went off on one there a bit. Ace song though.